RYC:

“you were right on with your comment on the Theologians Cafe…”

I’ve had a kidney stone that was excruciatingly painful, but I have never experienced anguish like I did when I was in the throes of depression. 
I was married and my wife became a junkie and started staying gone most of the time, only returning to steal items from the household to sell for dope and I was powerless to stop her and she refused to go back into rehab (about the 7th time).

I went to the doc and saw an analyst and got the pills.  The pills helped, but didn’t give me my life back.  I prayed a lot.  The pills allowed me to function and live with the depression, but they also sort of immobilized me.  I couldn’t decide what to do so I did nothing. 

I continued living under those conditions until one day my pastor took me aside and “woke me up”.  He made me see that things weren’t going to get better and that my only option was to seperate myself from my wife and he reassured me that God would love me even if I had to get a divorce.  He was right.

The depression continued for a while after the divorce.  I continued to take the pills for a while.  But eventually God showed me that I had to get rid of the pills in order to really live my life and He also healed me of my depression.  I had one return bout since I quit the pills.  It came out of nowhere and served as a reminder of just how bad it can get.  I went the next day to the doctor to get more pills.  Of course it takes a while for them to have an effect and the depression didn’t return so I never took them.  I still keep them just in case, but we both know that there is plenty of time for a person to go suicidal before they have time to take effect.

I continue to thank God that I am not under the constant veil of depression any more.  There is no real life there and it’s the lonliest disease there is.  Nobody that hasn’t been there can seem to understand what a hellborne nightmare it really is.

Thanks for your comment.

L,r